some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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