Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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