can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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