its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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