I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
