so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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