You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
