Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
