I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
