how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
