You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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