Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
