Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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