My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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