i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
