I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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