my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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