Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
