I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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