you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
