but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
