I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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