I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
