were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Of course I have a pirate flag
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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