god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
