I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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