Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
