If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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