I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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