I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
