There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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