those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize