normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
