Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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