Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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