I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize