it wasn't lemon gatorade
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
