My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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