So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
