That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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