i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
