I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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