I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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