Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize