I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
