I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
