Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
