i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
