I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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