My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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