you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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