sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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