Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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