bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
