I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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