i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
True college students do jello shots in the library
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