happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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