STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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