i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
