operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hippo gnu deer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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