if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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