I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize