Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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